Sanzo Experiences Arts And Crafts
by PsychoIdiotLady
Summary: What happens when Konzeon gets bored? That's right, she thrusts the Sanzo ikkou into modern Texas to go do some good old fashioned arts and crafts! By Author 2! Complete.


**Sanzo Experiences Arts And Crafts! (2)**

**Author 2's Note: **Okay, so I'm author two. Any piece with a 2 next to it is mine, and any piece with a 1 or a blank is from author 1. If it's a collaborate piece, it'll have a 12 next to it.

**BTW: **This has nothing to do with the actual Saiyuki series except the characters and the personalities. I do not own Saiyuki.

_**Capter One **_

Once Upon A Time in modern-day Texas, the Sanzo ikkou mysteriously popped up out of nowhere.

Hakkai, being the smart one who just so happened to read books about strange other worlds that people would mysteriously pop into when the gods got bored, knew exactly what was happening. Meanwhile, Goku, Gojyo, and Sanzo where freaking out because, apparently, they weren't in Saiyuki anymore (in defense of Sanzo, he was just glaring at Hakkai because he thought it was another one of his cruel jokes made to emphasize how he was smart and they were not).

Hakkai looked around and smiled. He'd always wanted to come to the other world named Earth. Sure, the humans living there were stupid and corrupted and delusional, but it seemed like a pretty interesting place.

"HAKKAI! Say something! Where are we? This isn't the restaurant you promised me! HAKKAI!" Goku screamed.

Hakkai patted him on the head, "We're in one of those other worlds that people mysteriously pop into when the gods get bored. I believe this one is called Earth. And, I'm sure they have plenty of nice restaurants around here that will accept ATM cards. I think they have ATM cards here, too." He said reassuringly.

"So this isn't your idea of a practical joke. I could still kill you anyways since I have no way of getting to that old hag Kanzeon." Sanzo mumbled, loading another round into his gun.

Hakkai backed away and held the ATM card up as a bargaining chip for his life. To everyone but Goku's dismay, he backed right into an advertising poster of an arts and crafts class being taught in exactly 5 minutes, free of charge. Goku immediately ripped the poster off the wall of the department store and held it up in front of Sanzo's face.

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"Sanzo-"

"No. End of discussion."

"I won't complain until we get back to Saiyuki! Promise!"

This offer was extremely tantalizing. Goku held promises in high regard and hated anyone who dared to break them. Namely, Sanzo.

"Well, what the hell are you waiting for? You'll be late to your precious class if you don't run, so move your ass!"

And that's how the Sanzo ikkou ended up running up six flights of stairs in less than three minutes, barely making it on time for the class to begin. Thankfully, the teacher arrived a minute late, sparing the group of having to explain why they were late (does, oh we were just in another dimension for a while, sound acceptable?).

Goku had rushed over to an empty table near the front of the classroom, oblivious to the strange looks the group was receiving. Apparently sexy cross-dressing blonde smokers were not part of the usual scenery. After getting over the shock of the cross-dressing hottie, the other attendants began to notice the pervish-looking redhead who could possibly be another cross-dresser, the calm gentleman with only one half of his glasses intact, and the hyperactive middle schooler with a golden headband in the wrong place. By now, they were contemplating the possibility that _all_ of these gorgeous men were cross-dressers. And perhaps gay, as well.

The teacher (Ms. Veny) cleared her throat and introduced herself. Then she proceeded to skim the days students, and let an extremely startled expression cross her face after laying her eyes on the Sanzo ikkou. Usually such handsome men were not in her presense. Usually, such handsome men were not in the presence of _anything _worth creating.

_**Chapter Two**_

Ms. Veny cleared her throat and said, "Alright, please pi- Ah, the safety rules! I always forget them, ahaha… ha… W- Well! Do not walk with the scissors, do not touch the heads of the hot glue guns, do not waste any material, do not cut what you do not need, do not criticize the work of others, do no-"

"What are we allowed to do, then? Why can't we just hurry up and get this over with?" Gojyo moaned loudly. He was not in the mood to take orders from unattractive women. Sanzo wasn't into taking orders from anybody either, and the sooner they got into his comfort zone (if he had one), the better for everybody.

And so the lesson began. The topic was frame-making. Frames for pictures of happy times (Ms. Veny was completely overenthusiastic about this). Of which the Sanzo ikkou, according to Sanzo, did not have. But when things are free, oh what the hell. It's _free_.

Ms. Veny was certainly not in a 'happy time'. The little brown-haired kid kept screaming like a baby whenever he did something wrong, or more accurately, every time she finished giving instructions. The 'gentle' man kept getting everything perfect the first time and making the others jealous, then helping them himself, when it was obviously the teachers job to do so. The redhead had lit a cigarette for both him and his blonde acquaintance, passed the time creating the most pornographic frame she had ever laid eyes on, and eyed certain women to the point where they excused themselves to go to the bathroom and returned about 10 minutes later claiming to have gotten lost on the way back. The blond, he was a whole 'other story. He had polished off _at least_5 cigarettes, not even touched his frame, kept eyeing everyone who spoke with murderous intent, put his feet on the table _shoes off_, scoffed at everything she said, and had even threatened to _shoot_ one of his friends while holding an extremely-real-looking gun in their faces.

Meanwhile, Gojyo was no longer pleased with the meager selection of housewives and bad magazine porn. Leaning over to Sanzo he complained, "This is a bore, _your honor_. So use your high an' mighty status to get us out of here, would you, _priest-y boy_?"

Sanzo lit another cigarette and doused the old one with the fabric that was supposed to go on his frame. Ms. Veny finally snapped.

"Put that cursed cigarette down, Mr.! I have had enough of you four men! I can't even call you men, disrespecting a woman like you have! Who do you think you are?" Ms. Veny yelled. Sanzo glared at her and stood, towering above her. Opportunity taken.

"I do believe that I am the most powerful man in all of India, here to see if I would be willing to sign a new treaty with this wretched country. The perverted water sprite would just so happen to be my extremely successful War General, the pretty-boy my most trusted Counselor, and that stupid monkey my Ward. If it quite suits you, we will take our lea-" Ms. Veny interrupted suddenly, her face paling with every word.

"I'm so sorry, Your Majesty! Please forgive me, I had no idea whose presence I was in!" She gasped.

'King" Sanzo simply turned on his heel and strode out of the room, followed by 'War General' Gojyo, 'Counselor' Hakkai, and 'Ward' Goku.


End file.
